So you are an awesome person, good-looking, sociable and your friends love you. You would love to be in some sort of relationship but you are so busy with your career and work that you just don’t have the time. You figure, “I might as well try online dating,” especially since online dating has been losing its stigma with 59 percent of Americans actually stating it’s a good place to meet someone.
You finally take the leap to put your profile up, take the quiz, answer 100 personality questions, go through a zillion pictures to pick your favorite three –which you will constantly change anyway–, not to mention retyping your one liner screen name and tagline several times.
Then you wait. And wait.
So you courageously decide to send some likes, winks and emails to those who you think would be a good partner for you at your next work or family party.
Then you wait again. Wait some more. Nothing. Crickets.
So here are the top 5 mishaps I see my clients are doing that, although they are awesome people, their online dating profile isn’t translating their best image and features.
- Your grammar:
According to studies done by Zoosk.com, men and women both preferred people who had a grasp of good grammar and spelling. If you chose to answer messages with “cuz,” “im” or “u,” on average you received 13 percent fewer messages on Zoosk.
Match.com revealed this was the number one turn-off for daters (even over text), with 54 percent of women and 36 percent of men agreeing to this statement.
Solution: Proofread; have someone else read it for you. Don’t type while you are tired!
- Bad pictures:
Your picture is your first impression; you in person, the second one. How many years between the day you took the picture and you today? Also, are you showing who you are?
Solution: Try not be wrapped up in scarves, hats and coats. Outdoors and action shots get the most return messaging. Full body shots are the best. And men, please avoid the “selfie” shots. Don’t take pictures with other people in the picture. Smile!
3. Personal interaction:
When you interact with someone and really want to send them a message, read their profile, be specific and ask them just one question.
Not so good: “Hey what’s up, liked ur profile, think we have alot in common. Wanna chat some time. What’s ur fav restaurant?”
Instead: “Hey, Gabriel, congratulations on your art being presented at the NYC museum, sounds exciting. Is your artwork still up?”
Better. Feel the difference?
- Intuition versus judgment:
Before you decide to say no to someone, stop judging them so easily. There is a difference between using your intuition and being judgmental. Some people are better in person than on screen, just like some people are way smarter than the way they take standardized tests.
- Just date:
Finally, stop hunting for your soul mate or spouse. Just date for now, have a good time, be open to a new experience, and have fun. If you keep wondering “is he the one?’ or “is she the one?” you will be too blinded to see them for who they really are.
Jennifer Castaneda, R.N., B.S.N., is our brand new @LIBizus relationship coach. She contributes to our Life and Work section, and advise you on workplace matters and beyond. She will help you handle touchy subjects with success.
For her introduction to LIBizus, Jen is offering three (3) mini sessions “Find your Blind Spots in Love” (40-minute session) where she will help women discover the #1 biggest challenge in their love life, and give advice on how to proceed. If you are interested in contacting Jennifer for one of these coaching sessions, please leave your name and email address below or Like Us on our Facebook page, leaving your contact information, and she will be happy to speak with you and give you sound advice and an exciting new start!
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